Yesterday I FINALLY put Jesus Camp back in the mail to Netflix, after maybe a month of it sitting on my bookshelf.

Today I got an email that told me I'd be getting The US vs. John Lennon tomorrow and I got really excited, because hey, I've wanted to see it for ages and VH1 was taking forever to air it (they were working on the acquisition back when I was still working there).

Two minutes ago I just saw a commercial on VH1 for this Friday's premiere airing of -- wait for it -- The US vs. John Lennon.

Can whoever's in charge of my life please let up a little on the irony? It's getting a bit exhausting.

ETA: APPARENTLY NOT.

From a phone conversation with my mother this evening:
"You should start putting yourself out there, find someone nice, have a long engagement. But don't bring home a boy with tattoos and a ponytail, I cannot have a tattooed son in law."

WTF MOM! If you're going to force me to get married, at least let me find someone who I think is hot. Seriously I don't know who this woman is anymore.

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Also I watched the last five minutes of Mission: Man Band this weekend and saw, like I expected, that I hadn't been credited. It's not that I'm torn up about it or anything but that basically ensures that my entire nine months there is going unrecognized. Considering all the grief I went through getting the talent their checks for that show, I think that's a little unfair, but whatever. I'm in a much better place now, both emotionally and in terms of my own career goals, anyway.

It's been a really tough winter and beginning of 2007. I've been writing about most of it in locked entries because a lot of it I just don't feel like discussing with everyone. I fell into a huge post-grad slump where I missed Columbia desperately and wanted more than anything to go back to that simpler time. I felt hugely dissatisfied and totally caged in by both my work life and my social life. I didn't leave my apartment for most of January through March, usually claiming that it was because of the bitterly cold weather, but more often than not, I just didn't want to talk to or see anyone. I turned down invitations to go out one after one because I just couldn't handle seeing happy people. It sounds awful, but I was in such a self-pitying state of mind that, while I was glad to hear about my friends' successes at work or new relationships, it always triggered a "why not me" reflex that I desperately wanted to avoid.

But then the cliche of March "going in like a lion and coming out like a lamb" really did happen to me, for the first time in my life. What started as a continuation of the worst month by far that I had experienced post-college (February SUCKED, and that's all I really feel like saying for now) ended with a kind of rebirth -- a rebirth of my career aspirations, my social life, and my generally good demeanor and satisfaction with life as it is. I took a new job in the department where I used to intern at MTV, which I absolutely love so far, and I have a pretty solid understanding of how I want my career to progress, from growth within the department to grad school to what I eventually want to focus on.

As for personal matters -- nothing's really changed, nothing major has happened, but I think my more positive outlook on my work experience is rubbing off on everything else. It makes sense, because as someone who gets very personally involved in her job, if things aren't going well in that area I'll tend to be down about the rest of my life. I've been told that that's not a good way to operate, that I should learn to leave my work at the office, but I don't necessarily want "who I am" and "what I do" to be mutually exclusive. And I saw that happening for a while, and it scared me -- enough to want to make a change, and to follow through on it. For a while I didn't feel any passion for what I was doing during three-fourths of my time, and at the end of the day I just couldn't handle that. At the end of the day, I had to do what was best for me.

I have more stories, about Indian matrimonial websites and my parents' outlook on dating suddenly making a total 180 and fiascos with trying to edit Muse's thesis presentation in my spare time and all of my friends suddenly deciding to leave the city -- but that's too many words for one post. So I'll be back, in a lot less than four months -- but right now, the delightful weather and lunch beckon. May flowers, here I come.

I try to keep quiet about my future plans and things I hope for, but apparently I can't keep my big mouth shut for more than 5 minutes at a time. That worries me, because then not only are my expectations raised, but so are everyone else's.

I'm just working towards going home. That's all I care about anymore, the four blissful days where I will be with my parents, NOT worrying about crappy celebrity television. Change is in the air, I think, but playing the waiting game is always the worst thing in the world.

Pictures courtesy of my coworkers Heather and Maharlika!

The MTVN holiday party was amazing. My Converse died in a blaze of glory that night, but it was so worth it.

Lianna and I went back to 1020 tonight for the first time since May -- and were hit on almost immediately by two Columbia boys. One of them lied to me about being a senior, and his friend unknowingly ratted him out right afterwards when he described all the details of his buddy's room in Wien (the shitty junior dorm). This may be presumptuous of me, but did he really think that I was more likely to hook up with him if he WAS a senior? I didn't even get with college boys when I was IN college. I miss Columbia, but I don't miss it THAT much.

More later, in a protected entry and when it's not 2:30 in the morning. I need to sleep as much as possible to prepare for the week-long hangover that awaits me.

Well, after all of that, I now have a job.

I'm a PA at VH1 in the Production Management department.

I start Monday and am super excited.