"ah hope ah make myself cleah leydeee...honh honh honh honh..."

saying things in a french accent is so much more fun.

lollapalooza kicked ass! it was so much fun, from getting lost to sitting on the lawn in the blazing-ass heat to seeing queens and incubus live to complaining about how expensive the merchandise was. i had a great time with julia [who wrote me the world's sweetest validation!! mad props, rafe!].

yeah for losing the script with the light cues twice and then finding it both times.

i've decided i'm going to steal the union jack from the pinafore set (hahaha, jack the jack...) and either hang it in our room next year or make a pillow out of it. after this summer i want something cool that has been somewhat illegally obtained from the laurel theatre department. memorabilia, if you will.

we've got another show tonight. let's hope it goes better than yesterday (although yesterday wasn't too bad at all).

"A-D-D, easy as 1-2-3
simple as do-re-mi, A-D-D, 1-2-3, baby you and me..."

"fo-evah? fo-evah-evah? fo-evah-evah?..."

only 4 more weeks! less than a month until i see my sex god!! whoooo!!!

can't get the damn gilbert and sullivan out of my head.

only 6 more weeks left of this damn evil summer, thank god.

sloan's in new york, work's more stressful than school ever was, my relationship with my parents is more erratic than ever, and all i want to do anymore is sleep.

oh, and i keep feeling bugs crawling all over me. not a good sign, now is it?

but on the plus side: only 2 more weeks of camp left! and julia and i are going to lollapalooza on the 20th! i'm so excited. plus the krishnans are staying here from sunday until maybe tuesday and then renting an apartment for about a month. so mek and pri will be here. it's going to be fucking awesome to see them...

i still have the shot of malibu in my bag. i'm saving it for tech week. god knows i'll need it.

this morning at work, rachel and julia and i were sitting in the work room talking about completely random things, and rachel was in the middle of saying something when all of a sudden julia points and starts screaming "BIG! BUG!"

there was this grotesque silverfish running across the floor, and it parks itself under the chair i'm resting my feet on. so i can't move because i'm scared shiteless, and we're all screaming for a good five minutes before julia comes over with a big wad of napkins and squishes it. then we continue trembling. julia is getting a special "hero of the week" title in cue copy because of this. i am in awe.

ack. it still grosses me out to think about it.

oh, and for those of you who read this but don't have one...please still leave comments...it would make me sooooo happy...hee hee hee.

can i just say, i haven't laughed this hard since...prom, probably, but we won't get into that or i'll get all depressed. right now, we're going to concentrate on what happened last friday and this past monday. rachel, julia and i were sitting in the work room bullshitting, mainly because mrs. schenk wasn't there and we didn't have any work to do. all of a sudden these workmen come by the room...apparently they were assigned to fix the big windows in the hallway that we were stationed in. then this big, burly, highly UN-attractive worker guy (who we have since dubbed "heinous man"), with greasy blond hair, too many muscles and a tan that did not suit him at all, comes into the work room and asks if we minded the noise that they were about to make, which we didn't. julia leaves to escort a camper down to her mom early, so rachel and i are alone in the room when heinous man walks in again. he looks at me (because i happen to be standing in direct view of the doorway) and the following conversation ensues:

heinous man: do you girls have any scotch tape in here?

me: yeah.

hm: well, HONEY, could you do me a favor and make me a SIGN, a SIGN that says DO NOT ENTER, 'cause i don't want no little kids runnin' around back there.

me: yeah, sure.

and i made him the sign and that was that. innocent enough...

the weekend passes and i forget about heinous man until monday morning, when it's 90 degrees in the building and i'm going down three flights of stairs to the 95 degree copy room. i'm pretty tired, considering that it's monday morning and it's so hot, and my eyes are drooping when lo and behold, i see heinous man walking up the stairs. he obviously remembers me and he says:

hm: dang, you look TIIIIIIIIERD! (that's supposed to be tired as he says it)

me: heh heh, yeah...

i tell rachel and julia what happened, and they feel just as violated, but we don't worry about it because there's a different workman working on the window that day and we don't think that heinous man will come by anytime soon. christ, were we wrong.

at around 2:00 that afternoon, i see heinous man walk to the window, tools in hand. i start having convulsions and i grab rachel and point. she gets this frightened look on her face and i ask her if we should close the door, but she says that it would be too obvious and we just hope that we can spend the afternoon without him coming into the room and unveiling his...uh..."masculinity" once more.

but alas, god did not shine his love upon us that day. at around 2:30, heinous man walks into the room and starts mumbling some garbage in his drawl that none of us can understand. he proceeds to get semi-frustrated.

hm: geez, you girls are lookin' at me like a bunch of RETAHRDS! i need some WA-WA!

(WA-WA?? at this point i start laughing uncontrollably)

hm: ya know, AQUA? i don't wanna stick my basin in the WATER FOUNTAIN...can ya tell me where the BASIN in please?

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

rachel: yeah, hold on a second.

(she takes his basin and goes into the ladies' room. julia and i start laughing hysterically before heinous man is even halfway out the door. the next segment is constructed from rachel's horrified retelling of the story in the ladies' room 15 minutes later.)

rachel goes out into the hallway and gives the basin to heinous man.

rachel: is this enough?

hm: well, HONEY, we'll see.

he makes rachel hold the basin for him while he puts the concrete in and mixes it up.

hm: nope, not enough.

rachel takes the basin back in the bathroom and puts more water in, then brings it back. he tries to mix it again.

hm: ever made PANCAKES before, HONEY?

rachel: uhh...yeah...

hm: well was the BATTER all LUMPY like this?

rachel: no...

hm: well, HONEY, this can't be lumpy either.

after one more trip to the bathroom, the mixture is perfect. while rachel is holding the basin for heinous man, all of the kids from camp crowd around her and ask, "rachel, whatcha doing, whatcha doing, whatcha doing...?" she tells them all to go away. at this point heinous man is done mixing and asks rachel to "wash his mixer" for him. when she obliges,

hm: dang, HONEY, i should make you my PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

little kid: but she works HERE!

hm: don't worry, i'd have fired you by now, HONEY.

julia and i meet rachel in the bathroom while she's washing his mixer, where she proceeds to tell us the full story of what happened. i go with her to hand his mixer back and we go into the work room. 10 seconds later, heinous man re-emerges:

hm: HONEY, can you get me a RAG, a WASH-RAG...?

rachel leaves and laughter ensues. she tells the front desk that a really creepy guy needs a rag and could they please send maintenance up to help him. he leaves us alone after that...

...until rachel and i are going downstairs for checkout...and HE'S LEAVING AT THE SAME TIME. he's walking behind us and starts speeding up. consequently, rachel and i end up running down the stairs and out the door until we're sure that we've lost him.

we never saw heinous man since...but for the next 4 weeks i'm sure will live in fear of close encounters of the heinous kind part 2. =)

this theatre camp thing is really starting to bug me. i don't want my job at all, but today i went to mrs. schenk's house so she could sign the community service papers for government , and when we started talking about the fact that the program's going to get cut if enrollment doesn't pick up and i could see the tears welling up in her eyes and i felt so incredibly HORRIBLE. this program means everything to her. literally. and of course i didn't want to be so blatantly honest with her to the point where it's like, "oh, well, i don't want the job anyway," so i tried to reassure her that everything was going to be fine and that people will start signing up. the truth is, i wouldn't care either way, and seeing as how i've spent my entire life trying to fight petty white lies in myself, i feel like such a fucking hypocrite right now. mrs. schenk is the nicest lady in the world, but she has this tendency to talk way too much and to try to impose her views about theatre and everything else on other people. she and i are complete opposites in our beliefs. the only reason i even started meeting with her last year was because i was in desperate need of a job and my piano teacher recommended working at this camp, and somehow i got roped into another year. i don't even know how that happened. the deal with wcpn is going to be more than enough to keep me busy this summer, and i would much rather just have that job simply because i want to go into broadcast journalism. theatre is just not my thing anymore, even though it used to be. and if the camp does stay, i have a feeling she's going to try to make me act in the musical even though i'm no actress and i seriously don't want to be. but i just don't know how to say no to her. with other people, it's no problem, but i think she and the guy at wcpn are the only people who i would conform to just because they're such nice people that you can't say no for the simple reason that they'd be nice about that too. goddamnit. i hate contradicting myself.

wow...it's so fucking hot in here it's not even funny. and my dad won't install the ac until it gets to 100* and we're all dying of heatstroke.

it's kind of weird to be home and doing nothing, because i'm so used to wall-to-wall homework and theatre shit that when i get a little time to slack off, i feel like i'm forgetting something because i'm not doing anything. i really don't want my summer job (counselor at a theater camp), but the lady called this afternoon. normally i'd tell someone who's forcing me to do something i don't want to to fuck off and leave me alone, but she is the sweetest old lady in the WORLD and she's like 86 years old and this camp is her life, so i have to be a damn hypocrite and be all sweet on the phone and listen as she babbles incessantly. i love her so much, but sometimes she gets way too longwinded and i have to just tune out on her to remain sane.

i also talked to the dude at npr, and that job seems like it's going to be so cool. i'm looking forward to project so much, it's not even funny. i've stopped anticipating and now it's just more like, let's get school out of the way so that i can focus on what i want to do, you know? ap exams are coming up and everyone is going nuts - teachers, that is - and all i want to do is sleep and graduate. that's it. but i have all of this bogus work in the way, and i feel so bad not doing it because i've always done the work - not only done it, but done it well. it's just so strange for me to be at a point where i really don't have to stress out about anything, and i can just be outright mellow and laid back like i am at heart (but everything else came in the way of that until now). college decisions are made, sgorr is over (thank the LORD!), theatre is pretty much done for (not only for this year but permanently!) and there's nothing to be scared about anymore.

i thought i was ready to procrastinate, but i guess i'm not so used to being a slacker after all...